Break Away

Do not hold to the anchors of the past,
But break away, break away, break away fast.
Do not let yesterday keep your soul down,
But rise above, rise above, break free from the ground.

Spread your wings and stay your fears
Let the dawn of your freedom dry your tears.
Release your sorrows, hold them no more,
Embrace the Light and let your spirit soar.

Unshackle the pains that have kept you bound,
Bask in the liberty of the grace you have found.
Let go of the hate that consumes the world's heart,
And share love so the healing may start.

Copyright - Terry S. Banks, Sr. - 2009
All Rights Reserved

Off to College

Well, my son leaves tomorrow to move into his dorm at college. While I am proud as a father whose child is taking a big step in his life I am also very sad. My first born is leaving the nest. He is beginning the next step in his journey through life.

I remember the day he was born and I was able to hold his tiny body and I wept with tears of Joy to see his shining face. I remember his first steps and holding him, singing stupid songs I'd make up to help him go to sleep.

I vividly recall his first stitches, his broken arm and the surgery that followed. I cannot take from him the trials that he will face as an adult but I will hold dear the time that God has given me to care over him.

To my son, be honest in your life, and face the world head on. Do not let anyone keep you down. Be the leader I know you are. Trust wholly in God and know that you are in His hands. Love like there is no tomorrow and continue to be the generous soul that you are right now. Meet every challenge with a fire and vigor that will shake the very foundations of the enemy. Seek wisdom and treasure it for it is far greater than gold. When all around you are doing the wrong thing...do right. Have courage to accept responsibilty for your decisions even when they are wrong. Learn. Listen and think before you speak. Treat people with basic respect even when they do not extend that courtesy to you. Hold true to your beliefs and remember the foundation upon which you were taught. Above all son, always remember you are my son and I love you with all that I am. You will always be my child and you should know how very proud I am of you. It is a great honor to me that I may call a man like you my son.

I realize

As I get older I notice pains that I have never had. I notice that my youth is going quicker today than it went yesterday and it will go faster tomorrow. But I try not to worry about these things instea I worry about the day and what I have to do to keep things going. Those worries are some of the things that contribute to my creative block. I am hopng by talking about them that I will force a breakthrough. I think it may be working, I seem to be able to work better today than yesterday.

Creativity seems to escape me at times but still i see signs of it nearby. I may miss it but I sense that I am getting closer. I feel the burn of it's absence in me and I yearn for it to fill me again. Hmmm. Funny choice of words, "Fill Me Again." Just as we occassionly need a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit. A renewing breath from the Lord to carry us over the hard spots in life. Is there a connection? I think so. I know at these times I am often far from God due to my getting wrapped up in the worries of this life.

It is hard to seperate yourself from the worries of this life though. I mean you have a lot of people depending on you. The wife, the kids, the in-laws, friends and relatives, not to mention clients. Then there are the bill collectors and the tax collectors. ARRRRGGG!!! It is sometimes overbearing, all the people you have to work for and it seems so diffiult that most of them don't do much or you. Don't get me wrong, the wife, kids, friends and family all share love and are 0ften in the same boat that I am in but it is hard at times.

I am not meaning to whine, I am just very tired and beat. I want to do good for my family and loved ones...but I also want to do good for God. Often times I abuse His grace and forgiving nature to satisfy others. But make no mistake about it God does truly get all the glory for my life. His mercy and grace and love are what makes me. My creativity is from His divine nature.

But back to my realization from earlier...I need a fresh breath from the Lord and a renewed fire and I beleive that is directly affect my creativity.

Blocked

Just sitting here thinking about art and artist's blocks. Over the years I have occassionally run dry as an artist and it is very bothersome. As a commercial artist you have to be on all the time because your client expect the best from you. Recharging the old creative cells is sometimes harder than others. Sometimes I can watch a good movie or see a good illustrator and that will inspire me, lighting the fires for more work...but on occassion the elusive spark is harder to catch.

Now I believe that keeping the spark alive is easier he more you work in creativity but after a while your energy runs low and you need to rejuvinate that creativity. How does one do this?

Well, like I stated earlier, a movie sometimes helps, or looking a fine art. Doing something fun to take your mind off of the drain. Sometimes it is just rest. You need to rest and get a way. Spend a day just doing nothing. But that is often hard when you have clients depending on you for projects but if you do the projects at less than a hundred percent are you cheating the clients?

Very frustrating and agrivating. I find myself hitting that wall right now and it is getting on my nerves. I have not been happy with some of the work that I have done lately...it looked OK and it is passable but I felt no real connection with the work and I normally do feel that connection. It bothers me deeply to not feel that connection.

Frustrating.

I have been having a hard time blogging lately. Many things have gone on in my life and it is hard to take to the time and write about them. It also makes me think how distant i feel from God right now. I know He is here with me waiting for me to make the contact and my mind goes to God through out the day but it is hard to break away from the day-to-day drudgery to talk to Father.

Oh, I feel ashamed, and worhtless when I do think about it or when I need to pray for something. I feel like a hypocrit. Who am I kidding I know that I am a hypocrit. I am the chiefest of sinners just struggling in the net of Peter. Jesus has set the hook and caught me but I fight the line more than I should.

I pray that I may be better at being the servant God desires me to be. Jesus help me as I attempt to humble myself. I cannot even do that properly. Lord let me be the servant that you want not the leader that I want. Help me overcome the part of me that constantly rises up against what you want me to be. Allow me to serve you, please Lord.

Lemon Toast and Hovercrafts

I have been having the weirdest dreams for the past year. Last nights dreams were not too strange but I remember during one of them my friend Ryan and I were walking in a mall and my wife was off shopping with my youngest son. Ryan and I stopped to have something to eat and Ryan ordered Lemon Toast. I have no idea what that is but he ordered it in my dream. Then later my wife met up with us and my son was flying around in a hovercraft. He was flying all around the mall going up to the second floor. I told him in the dream not to fly any higher than a foot or so off the ground due to danger of him falling off the thing and hurting himself or killing himself.

I have no idea why I have these weird dreams and I keep looking for meaning in some of them. I keep wondering why I dream the the things that I dream but I am not really worried about them too much. None of them seem violent just weird. The imagary is very odd.

The world to come

Ou government has elected a new leader and he has already passed legislation that will undoubtably increase abortions in the U.S. He has also eliminated the "don't ask don't tell" policy for the military asserting the rights of homosexuals. This is the world to come. Our government is morally failing and we do nothing. It is a shame that it has come to this.

This blog may soon be considered a hate crime because I do not support the homosexual agenda. Now mind you, I do NOT hate homosexuals but I disagree with their lifestyle and I do not consider it to be natural affection. Whose sexual deviance do we accept as normal next? Maybe pediophiles..if you ask them they will say "they were born that way, it is just normal affection." We all know that is a lie. I hate the sin of homosexuality but not the person involved in the sin. On the contrary I love them and want them to find Jesus and be set free from that sexual bondage.

People have commented that the Republican platform picks on those two sins (abortion and homosexuaity) and ignores the other sins. True for some, but not the way I see it. Those two sins are strong indicators of where we stand as a society. Sexual sins are now flaunted as great and acceptable, how is this right according to the scriptures?

Abortion for birthcontrol is murder. Our society has degraded to the point that we are saying to our children that your life does not matter. The Democrat machine supports this without question and our new leader stated that he would support legislation that redce the number of abortions in the U.S. but the first thing he does is approve for more abortions. And the Republican leaders, you weak kneed, spineless defenders of the status quo, what did you do for eight years about the wholesale abortion market??? Nothing.

Now what can we do? This is a difficult question because we as Christians don't even agree on the subjects of abortion and homosexuality. Even though it is clearly stated in the scriptures. But apparently the Word of God doesn't matter anymore.