I have been having a hard time blogging lately. Many things have gone on in my life and it is hard to take to the time and write about them. It also makes me think how distant i feel from God right now. I know He is here with me waiting for me to make the contact and my mind goes to God through out the day but it is hard to break away from the day-to-day drudgery to talk to Father.

Oh, I feel ashamed, and worhtless when I do think about it or when I need to pray for something. I feel like a hypocrit. Who am I kidding I know that I am a hypocrit. I am the chiefest of sinners just struggling in the net of Peter. Jesus has set the hook and caught me but I fight the line more than I should.

I pray that I may be better at being the servant God desires me to be. Jesus help me as I attempt to humble myself. I cannot even do that properly. Lord let me be the servant that you want not the leader that I want. Help me overcome the part of me that constantly rises up against what you want me to be. Allow me to serve you, please Lord.